Oh, he means business...

As I mentioned before, Sean has been helping me stay on track with my nutrition by checking my journal at each training session. The ground rules that he set were 1) it had to be completely filled out and 2) I brought it each time we worked out together. And the punishment was extra exercises (mountain climbers to be specific).

So, I have been doing exactly that. However, apparently there was a 3rd rule -- one that I learned yesterday. There is also a penalty of extra exercise if he doesn't like what I wrote down! Not cool! And really, my indiscretion was really not that bad at all -- a "skinny cow" ice cream sandwich... (Sean asked when I have ever seen a skinny cow).

I learned that one the hard way...

Happy Tuesday!
LP

Spring has SPRUNG!!!

Spring is FINALLY here... I thought it would never come. The weather is lovely and brings with it some cheerful optimism. And why not? My house is uncluttered (okay, it's only been two days), I spent some lovely time catching up with old friends this weekend, and I'm happy that I'm being good with my nutrition and exercise. Oh, and the fact that I have the next week off doesn't hurt either. Hopefully, I can bottle these hopeful and positive thoughts for the next rainy day...

Anyway, I'm still stalled when it comes to results. Sean assures me that the results will come again in time as I continue to do what's right. While I want to believe him, I'm going to have to wait and see. For now, I'm taking comfort in the fact that I'm living a healthy life and I'm taking inventory of all of the non-scale victories...

Happy Monday!
LP

Cluttered house... cluttered life.

Hello all... I hope you all are enjoying your weekend.

Recently, my life has been a mess. My home is a mess. Work is super-duper stressful. And well you know how my fitness endeavors are going. I think that it all goes hand in hand. I mean, how can you do anything when you don't have a nice, welcoming home where you can relax and regroup?

So today I have been trying to remedy this. I've been cleaning house. No longer do I get palpitations at the thought of someone dropping by unexpectedly. The mountain of mail that covered my dining room table is gone! I've caught up with my bills, and now I can tackle my taxes (I've been dreading doing them). Still have to clean my room, but the house is a gazillion times better than it was...

Ahh... now things are manageable once again.

Happy Saturday!
LP

Facing the music... (or not)

Hello,

So, I think it's time to come clean. I have fallen off the wagon - big time. For the last 2 weeks, I have indulged in anything that I wanted to eat -- every day has been a cheat day! I looked back at my journal, and I haven't journaled for about a month! Which goes along with the bad eating habits... I don't want to see my digressions written down because then I can't lie to myself about it not really being "that bad". The scale has reflected my poor choices and so has my appearance (why is it that I have such a hard time seeing my positive progress but when I'm backsliding it's clear as the nose on my face?!?). ENOUGH IS ENOUGH...

I told Sean yesterday that I have been out of control and that I need help being monitored more closely. I'm back to writing it down (at WW, they have a saying -- "if you bite it, write it") and I'm expected to bring the journal to every training session. He's going to check, and I believe the penalty for not complying is 2 minutes mountain-climbers (an exercise that I particularly dislike). Today was the first day of this new routine.

But I don't think that I'm going to make a WW meeting today. I think I may be still at work at that time but I also can't bring myself to step on the scale today. I know what it's going to say...
If I do skip out, I will have to weigh later this week but I think that right now that is the better option.

OK, so the skeleton is freed from the closet. Now it's back to work...

Happy Tuesday!
LP

Here we go again...

So, I've been trying to put off writing until I had something positive to say -- and hence I haven't written in forever. So I figured that I had better write something...

I'm hanging in there. It is just so much easier to do this when you are seeing the result of your hard work. I'm still trying to find a program that will allow me to achieve all of my goals -- a program that is sustainable for life.

I've decided to go to WW for a while. I need to have some accountability and right now that means weekly weigh-ins. I think my nutrition is on track (my previous diet is a lot like the "simply filling" - or the old "core"), but I will be tracking what I eat again. And I am going to try and endure meetings again -- that is, until they drive me crazy again! You see, I've tried this program before with minimal success. But perhaps coupled with the training I will start seeing results.

One week in and I lost 1.4 lbs... A good friend of mine has said on her blog, "a loss is a loss is a loss". I'll take it. One step at a time!

Happy St. Patty's Day!
LP

Checking in / progress ...

So, I've been a bit of a slacker with the blogging... I guess I have been uninspired!

Still working hard to get back on track. So far, I'm doing a pretty good job, but I just can't seem to get back to the gung-ho, 100% perfect with the nutrition, working out twice a day plan that I once was doing. I'm okay with not trying to be perfect because I know that it's not maintainable, but I am trying to balance giving myself a little slack and finding a do-able lifestyle and still working hard enough to get the results I need (I still have SUCH a long way to go!). I need to get rid of this "all-or-nothing" mentality that's working against me...

Oh, I took progress pictures this week!

On the left is a picture I took sometime this summer. I'm not exactly sure when and so I don't know what I weighed at the time. I kind of wish that I had taken pictures a year ago when I started because it would have been neat to see the entire transformation. On the right is the picture I took this week. I do know what I weighed then, but that's between me and my trainer ;o)... I guess the reason that it is so important is that I am not at my lowest weight right now. I would have been helpful to know what the difference in pounds was, because even though I may weigh the same, there are other differences...


............................................................................................................................... and YES, I can see differences in the pictures, but I'm pretty sure they are more subtle in my mind (or credited to the differences in how the pictures were taken). Being my harshest critic makes it difficult to see what others see. I'm still getting positive and encouraging comments from people at work, which actually makes me feel kind of guilty because I know that I've gained. But, I just smile and say thank you...

Anyway, have a wonderful weekend!
LP

1 year down... a lifetime to go!

Hello friends,

Well, I had another disappointing assessment yesterday -- I gained another 3#, but I'm still 87# down and still plugging away. I'm going to start working with Sean 4x a week and we're going to try some tweaking to my diet... with any luck and some hard work I'll be back on track in no time.

Thank you so much for all of your kind words and support.

Happy Sunday!
LP

TGIF!

Hey all. Figured I'd check in...

Really glad that the week is over (well, almost over). Not exactly a bad week, just busy. I still can't seem to get on track. I feel like I'm (for the most part) doing the right things, but I am still not seeing results. I know that some of my angst is pre-assessment nerves, but I am just losing optimism and hope. I know that this can't be it... right???

I can't believe that it's going to be a year next Saturday.

Anyway, I'm still plugging along...

Happy Friday!
LP

If you don't have anything nice to say...

Hello, guys...

So, my friend Brianna told me I've been slacking on my blogging and urged me to give everyone an update. The truth is, I really wanted to have positive things to say. I was trying this new upbeat, optimistic thing and going with the old adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." She told me that maybe people need to hear about my struggles because everyone goes through it... So here I am.

It seems that I've been struggling a little. And by a little, I mean some of my old (quite horrible) habits have popped up. Another high-stress week at work (seems like a theme, doesn't it?) and I resorted to late night snacking -- and on some pretty unhealthy foods. I allowed myself to sleep in one morning instead of going to do my cardio. Seems like I'm at an important fork in the road... I need to choose the right path even if it's more difficult.

Problem is, ever since I gave myself some leeway (which I never deserved in the first place), I'm finding it difficult to get back on track. But it's so important for me to not let the slip-ups in the past to hinder my progress... If I give myself the out, I will end up back where I was last year (and that's the last thing I want!) So it's starting over every day until I get it right... it is impossible to be perfect all of the time, but that is no excuse to give in. I'm picking myself back up!

Happy Sunday! Have a great week!
LP

p.s. -- how's that, Bri?

Looks like it's going to be a great day!

Every now and again I get this fantastic burst of energy and optimism... and today is one of those days! There is really no explanation for it, but I woke up well-rested and happy. I've been putting off some projects around the house for a little while now and so maybe I can put this energy to good use... Let's see how productive I can be :o)

If only there was a way to bottle this feeling so that I can have it on those days that I have a less-than-stellar attitude!

Have a wonderful and blessed day!
LP

This is only a test...

Plateaus suck... It's so much easier to be positive and upbeat when you're seeing results from all of your hard work. But it is the time when your progress stalls that separates the women from the girls... sigh...

But I'm persevering. I know I have no other choice. I'm hopeful that this plateau will soon end and that I will begin to get some positive feedback again. So please send me some weight loss mojo or juju or maybe just say a prayer that I am given the strength to get over this hurdle...

Have a wonderful weekend!
LP

Changing it up...

It's time to make some changes... I think my body has become used to the elliptical machine and so I'm not getting as much out of it anymore. I've been a little off track with my nutrition and I think part of that has to do with boredom from eating the same things day in and out. And as much as I love working out hard with Sean, I have some inflammation in my shoulder that has made it dificult to push myself.

So, we're going to to shake things up! I'm trading in my elliptical workouts for the treadmill and trying to incorporate new foods into my diet. Even Sean has changed my training sessions -- we're adding more cardio and increased reps with lighter weights.

I've always had a "slow to warm" temperament and I tend to shy away from change. I'm a little bit frightened that this may make my progress stall further (it's difficult for me to reach the same intensity on the treadmill especially since I can't really run just yet), but I'm ready to give it the old college try!

I'll check in a little bit with how things are going...

Happy Monday!
LP

Checking in...

I'm making good on my commitment to blog at least once a week (just under the wire)...

Rough week at work... Actually found myself stress-eating cookies that someone brought in to get out of their house. And worse, I verbalized that I was eating them to make me feel better!!! I know better than that... Thank goodness that people finished off the cookies so there is no more temptation! I don't buy that stuff, so it's much easier to be good at home.

Tomorrow is the last day of this work stretch... I'm looking forward to getting my life back and getting back on track!

Have a great weekend!
LP

Assessment Day

So, it could have been a lot worse. I did work hard this week and I mentally prepared myself for the gain. "Crazy Laura" did not show up today despite my 7# gain from last assessment. So, it's official and now I can start fresh from here. I'm kind of surprised that I'm hopeful and motivated rather than defeated and pessimistic.

My grand totals to date: 90# and 56.5" down... nothing to sneeze at. And I'll say it again so that I can remind myself -- it's a marathon, not a sprint!!!

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Happy Saturday!!
LP

Happy New Year!!!

I wanted to wish you all much health and happiness in 2009!

Even though I worked, I managed to get out to enjoy a little time with friends... They had been hanging out in the freezing cold in a quaint area downtown called Carytown waiting for a ball to rise (in NY, the ball drops... here it rises). Luckily, because I worked until 11, I only had to freeze for a little while...

They say that whomever you're with and whatever you're doing at midnight on NYE is what you will do the rest of the year... if that means that I'll be having a good time with good friends, then bring it on! (afterall, Richmond just isn't that cold all year long...)

This year, I made a different New Year's Resolution... to improve my work/life balance. I figured I didn't need to resolve to lose weight or get healthy in 2009 because I'm working toward that goal every day!

Anyway, however you are spending your New Year, I hope you have a wonderful day!!!

LP

So far, so good...

Hello, blog-fans!

So, things are looking up... I am re-energized. So far, I've been doing a good job sticking to my plan -- I'm getting all of my cardio in and following my food rules. It's only the 3rd day, but I'm confident that I can keep it up!!!

It's kind of funny... just when I am having to re-commit myself to the healthy lifestyle I want to lead, I have not 1 but 2 friends ask if I can be their "coach" if you will... talk about the blind leading the blind?!? I said yes because I figured that we could support each other, and after all, I have learned a thing or two over the past year, right?

So, Saturday is that next assessment which isn't going to be good... I've gained about 14 lbs over the past 6 weeks... yikes!!! And so, even if I lose a little before then, I'm going to have to deal with a gain. I told Sean that I would try to keep "Crazy Laura" from coming to the assessment, but I'm not sure how I'm going to react... Maybe since I know now I will be prepared, but who am I kidding???

Happy Tuesday!
LP

Back to basics...

It's time to regroup. I have done such a great job since February getting my life on track. It's like I'm a new person. I have been making much better choices every day and am committed to becoming a healthier and happier person. I'm proud of all that I have accomplished and of how far I have come.

But I still have a long way to go. Ever since Thanksgiving, I have definitely slacked off some. I've become complacent and it's beginning to show. I've gained a little weight back and it's a little bit frightening. I'm afraid that I'm on a slippery slope and if I allow things to continue, I am going to wind up right back to where I was a year ago... I can't let this happen. It's time to fix things before they get completely out of hand.

I'm committing myself to (in no particular order) --
1) Keeping up with my journaling. I eventually stopped writing down what I was eating and when I was exercising because everyday looked the same. Everything was a habit. I knew what to do and so I felt like I didn't need to write things down anymore. But after a while, I wasn't doing the same things anymore. I need to start writing again and start doing the things I know I need to do.
2) Follow the food rules Sean gave me when I started. Part of this indiscretion was the holidays and fooling myself into thinking that I deserved to have whatever I wanted at the time. And while my holiday indulgences were much better than in years past, I still gave myself a little too much slack. Well, holidays are over and it's time to start again.
2a...this includes drinking my water!!!
3) Doing my extra cardio 3-5 times a week. Exercise is the key to my success. Not only that, it helps me keep my stress levels down. Over the past couple of weeks I have allowed myself to skip exercise because I've been too busy. No more.
4) Staying POSITIVE. I'm going to start giving myself the credit I deserve about all of the great things that I have done. When I begin to slip however, I continue to beat myself up and just get really down. I need to be my own cheerleader so I can keep myself going. I can do this. I am doing this. I deserve this.
5) Focusing on behavior and not dwelling on results. I've touched on the too-frequent weighing before. It's great when I see small successes but when the scale goes in the wrong direction I really get knocked on my butt. It makes me a little crazy and obsessed. It's not healthy. It would be unrealistic to say that I'm not going to weigh myself anymore, but I will limit my weighing to once every week or two. This is a marathon, not a sprint... And maybe I should start focusing on some results that aren't shown on the scale -- my energy, my mood, my confidence level... these are just as important (if not more) than the pounds and inches.
6) Find a better work/life balance. Part of the problem I've noticed is that my life has become consumed with work and working out... I need a hobby! I need to spend more time with my friends and family. I need to find something to give my life some meaning. This one is going to be challenging, but I need to do it.
7) Write on my blog more consistently. Starting this blog has been really helpful for my journey so far. It really has helped me to work through my struggles along the way. It helps me to vent and gives me a place to encourage myself as well as others. And I love having the support of my readers! So, I need to try and write here at least once a week.

Whew! That's quite a tall order... sorry for the super-long entry. I guess I'm making up for lost time... LOL.

Have a wonderful Sunday!
LP

Looking for a silver lining...

So, as you all know, I've been pretty down this holiday season... For the first time ever, I am working on Christmas. Not the way I want to spend my day. It's made it kind of difficult to get into the spirit of the season.

This weekend, my parents and my sister with her family came up to celebrate Christmas early. It was my first holiday at my house. It was really great to see everyone, although I am not very used to having a screaming 2 year old around (even if she is super-cute, she sure can be loud)! We had dinner catered from Ukrops, which made the work involved much more bearable! And this evening, some friends will hopefully be coming over to help me with the leftovers!

But there is a silver lining in having to work on Christmas (fitness-goal wise, anyway). It's going to be much easier to be good and stay on track! And the prospect of a fitness assessment Jan 3rd is an additional motivator to do just that!

So, in case I don't check in again before then (I've been a little slack with the blog-writing lately!)... Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy 2009!

LP

Rainy Days and Mondays...

Hello all,

Well, it's one of those days... I think I have the Holiday Blues. I just can't get into the Christmas Spirit. It doesn't help matters that I am working both Christmas and New Years this year, or the fact that I'm spending yet another holiday alone. It's getting harder and harder to be without someone special as I get older... sigh.

Still haven't lost the weight I gained around Thanksgiving... I'm slowly getting there though. I did some good cardio this morning and I plan to go back again for an afternoon workout. Maybe I can exercise myself out of this funk!

Have a wonderful day!
LP

Surviving the holidays...

Good morning,

I hope everyone had a very happy and healthy Thanksgiving. This year more than ever I have so much to be thankful for. It was absolutely wonderful to get together with my family -- I don't get to see them often enough...

But Thanksgiving was pretty challenging in terms of my health and fitness goals. I did go for a nice long walk on Thanksgiving Day, but I had been working out far less than I was in the weeks prior. And, to add insult to injury, I fell victim to my old eating habits. I did try to be good but gave way to temptation and my cheat day turned into cheat days... sigh...

No big deal... I'm back at home and back to working out and eating right. But as I think about it some more, I'm a little bit fearful about the rest of the holiday season. For the next month temptations are going to be all around me! There are holiday parties and people spreading cheer in the form of baked goods at work. Usually, I am pretty good at saying no to sweets or other foods that I know I shouldn't have, but I'm not so good when it's everywhere!!!

So, I need yet another game plan... I think it's back to the journal. At least this way, if I plan on cheating I'll have to write it down. Maybe this way I'll be more mindful. And most importantly, I'm not going to beat myself up about the slip-ups.

At least year when the new year comes around I will already be well on my way to becoming a much healthier person.

Have a wonderful weekend!
LP