Thursday, September 22, 2011

Catching up...

Two more days until I begin the second-half of my thirties... (maybe I should stick where I am?). I've managed to keep my craziness at bay so far. I have been filling my time with friends and fitness, and to be perfectly honest, the season premieres on TV. Biggest Loser is so much better of a show when I am doing what I need to in terms of my health - there is much less guilt! I love how optimistic everyone is at the beginning of the show; I remember that feeling. Now my optimism is guarded, and probably will be until I reach that first very important goal (less than 300).

Oh yeah, that's right... I never actually shared absolute numbers on here. Maybe I will catch you up. At my heaviest, I imagine I weighed 365-370 (I remember stepping on a scale once and it said 363, but I avoided them so I really don't know. That was in 2007. When I was having trouble walking from the back pain because of all that extra weight, I knew I needed to do something about it. I started with my first personal trainer on Feb 14, 2008. I weighed 359 lbs at the time. Initially, I had unbelievable results; in 9 months I lost 97.5 lbs. Of course, to do that I was a little neurotic - I was working out twice a day most days and taking supplements to keep the weight loss coming. I slowed down to a healthy and respectable pace, but then I slowly started gaining. It was really hard and disheartening -- I was doing everything I should, and I saw all my results slowly slip away. My trainer pushed me harder and harder and I tore my rotator cuff because I didn't stop when there was pain. That was a bigger setback and more sadness. I'm not sure how I didn't completely throw in the towel when my weight crept back over 300 lbs, but my efforts were not the same. I would go to the gym and work with my new trainer, but I would never go to the gym by myself and I would make excuses not to go if I was too tired. And my eating pattern also reverted back to what I used to do. I was at the point where my life was closer to what it was before I started than when I had success. I had reached my breaking point. I knew I had to break the pattern.

I started my first Body Back session weighing 354 lbs -- just 5 lbs less than my starting point. What a huge slice of humble pie!! (I'm pretty sure humble pie is calorie free, right?) The workouts were hard and I managed to get tendonitis in my hip from running almost immediately. But, this time I was smart about my injury and I persevered. I lost 15 lbs in that first session. I even maintained it during my 3 weeks of dormancy afterward (2 weeks on wards, followed by the hurricane with no power). I had never been so happy to not lose weight! But still, I was ready to hit the ground running and get serious again (no pun intended). I've lost about another 10lbs so far, and I hope to lose 20 by the end of the session. But more important than the numbers is the hope and faith that I have back in my life; I feel my goals are achievable even if it takes a long time.

I love what Body Back has given me. Confidence, encouragement and support. I workout with some amazing women. They are super supportive and I am honored to have them on my journey. They even tolerate my nulliparity (everyone else is a mom). These women showed up in my life at the exact moment I needed them most. Like I said before, I am blessed.

So, Saturday marks my 36th birthday and I will continue celebrating my accomplishments and my blessings. I look forward to what the future holds, and with any luck I'll be even less crazy come next September...

Happy Thursday!

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