**sigh**

What can I say? Once again I have fallen way off track. I haven't blogged in ages! I hope everyone hasn't given up on checking in with me... And what's worse than being the absentee blogger, I have been (pardon my language) half-assing my efforts as far as weight loss and fitness go. I have been doing the minimum for too long, and it is definitely showing...

A year ago, I felt unstoppable. I was perfect when it came to my fitness and nutrition. If it wasn't a cheat day and it didn't follow the rules -- I DIDN'T EAT IT! I made sure I got my extra cardio in and never made an excuse to miss it. Those days are long gone (about 6 months long to be exact) and I really need to figure out how to get back to that time and mindset...

Problem is, I am really struggling about how to do this. If anyone is still reading and has any great ideas, I'd love to hear them.

For now, I am going to continue to take it one day at a time... I'll start over every day if I have to! I've got such a long way to go -- I'm not ready to stop now...

Happy Monday!
LP

The Art of Improvisation...

I like to think that I'm learning a thing or two about myself along this fitness and weight-loss journey. I have learned that I am a lot stronger than I give myself credit that I am able to push through challenges and do things that I never thought possible... I'm also learning that I don't like change and that I can get pretty rattled if things don't go how as expected. This is one of my struggles...

I'm working on becoming more flexible and able to "go with the flow". Today tested my improvisation skills. After working with Sean I decided to go to the track at UR... but lo and behold -- track is closed because they are building an on-campus stadium. And while there is the path along the lake, it began to rain even heavier... harumph! So, instead of letting the day go to waste, I popped in a DVD and got in a workout. So, I'm giving myself kudos on improvising! And now I can watch The Biggest Loser tonight guilt-free!

But, seriously... when is the rain going to stop???

Have a great day!
LP

Come Monday, it'll be alright...

I'm exhausted. I'm cranky. I'm not sleeping well. And it doesn't help matters that the attending on my sister team on wards brings tons of tempting snacks...

Trying to be good, but will definitely be better on Monday.

Here's hoping my weekend goes quickly while the rest of you can savor every moment!!!

2 more days... 2 more days...
LP

Absentee blogger...

wDay 7 of 14 of another stint on wards at work... halfway there! Things are busy (as usual) but manageable. And I haven't strangled anyone yet, so that's a good sign...

I haven't been so good with my nutrition and fitness lately... I skipped my cardio on Friday and then cancelled on Sean on Saturday (I had only 4 hours of sleep and really felt miserable). And well, it's kind of been a cheat weekend (which is not technically allowed).

Oh well. Tomorrow is another day...

Happy Sunday!
LP

Self-reflection and the importance of letting go...

Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm wound a little too tight... Things upset me easily, and I can get myself worked up over what are sometimes small things. When I get that way at work, one of my good friends is usually there to remind me to "let it go". Sometimes that is easier said than done...

I've been thinking about things and I desperately need a change. I've been failing with my New Year's resolution to maintain a better work/life balance. Work is stressful, and that isn't likely to change any time soon, but it's up to me how I handle that stress. Being stressed out all of the time is not healthy. I'm certain it is in part sabotaging my fitness efforts, but more importantly it's making me really unhappy. I need to have some positive outlets for my stress. Working out used to do the trick, but now I'm finding that I need more. Finding a balance is what I need to do in order to stay sane...

So, I'm recommitting to working on these things today. Whether that be a new hobby, quality time with friends and family or just some time for self-nurturing, I am going to do something to help me let go of the stress and frustration that I've been keeping inside.

I'll let you know how it goes...

Have a wonderful day!
LP

Another roadblock...

Let me preface this by noting that it seems like everytime I get super-excited on this journey I hit a wall and get super-frustrated...

For reasons unknown to me, I am in a slump. I am losing motivation and I'm losing it fast. Not sure if it is just a lull after going all-out last week or if it's the culmination of all of the stress I'm feeling. I dragged myself to the gym this morning and half-assed my workout -- I hate when I do that (not that it happens often...). My nutrition has not been up to par over the last couple of days and today I decided to nap over getting my extra cardio in. I'm afraid of failing and I feel like I'm teetering on a dangerous edge. Please don't read this as I am planning on quitting, because I know that is not an option. I'm just saying that I need to get my little slip-ups under control before they become big ones...

Hopefully, this too will pass... sooner rather than later would be preferable.

LP

Checking in...

Hi all,

So, even though I know I shouldn't, I really am beating myself up about the blip in my progress... And the not weighing myself is killing me -- since I was on my way up, in my head I've gained 15# so far (even though that is probably not the reality). And as I mentally went over my routine, I couldn't figure out what I could do to step things up... It's a helpless feeling to think that you are doing all you can and your progress has stalled despite your efforts.

Which is why I love my journal... I decided to look over things and see what I could change. And I actually noticed some interesting stuff. Since August and my leg injury, my cardio has tapered off. Initially the "taking it easy" was justified and important but this far out probably isn't necessary. I was doing 45-50 minutes of cardio every "non-trainer" day (except Sundays) in July and going at least 5 miles on the elliptical. Lately, I've only done about 30-35 minutes and I haven't done any interval training. Aha!... something objective I can change. Suddenly, I've been given back some control. Time to kick it back into high gear!!!

So, take home message: journaling isn't just a chance to use pretty pens and cool office supplies or a place to write what you're doing as a meaningless exercise. It can provide some objective data and show you about what you can do to change things... And to Jason and the fam: thanks so much again for my new journal... I can't wait to start writing in it!!!

Happy Sunday! Have a happy and healthy week...
LP

Water weight -- a dieter's best friend (and worst enemy)...

Hi guys,

Time to complain a little again (insert your sighs here)...

So, I think that I have mentioned (at least once or twice) how I back-slided a little with my recent vacation and gained some weight. Since my trip I have been weighing myself each day to get feedback and try to will the scale into saying something different. My trainer Sean HATES that I do this -- if he had his way, I would only weigh myself once every 6 weeks at my assessments (we compromised on once a week a long time ago). When I asked him why, he told me what I already knew -- that my weight is going to go up and down a million times a day and so it doesn't mean much of anything. I understand this, but I like to know anyway...

Which brings me to the topic of this post... ever notice how the beginning of any diet (or in this case "lifestyle change") is associated with huge numbers on the scale??? This loss is 95% water, but nevertheless is a huge ego boost... it often motivates us to keep going. Well, unfortunately the opposite happens when we cheat (by eating less healthy foods or drinking alcohol) we gain big numbers, which are at least in part water weight. (WARNING--- boys may want to just skip to the next paragraph... read at your own risk). And throw in the water weight that comes around that "wonderful" time of the month... it's enough to get even the most optimistic dieter discouraged!!! Aggh!

So, don't tell Sean, but maybe he is onto something -- I'm going to try and stay away from the scale... at least for the next week or so.

Thanks again for letting me vent.

Happy Friday!
LP

Feedback is a b*tch...

Hey guys,

So the scale was not my friend today. I was 5 lbs heavier this am... yikes! And to add insult to injury, my appetite is out of control... I've done a pretty good job with choosing healthy foods to eat, but I am just so hungry today! Sean thinks it may be that my metabolism is messed up from being off of my routine while on vacation. I think it may be because I'm doing that cleanse, I didn't take my regular supplements... Needless to say, I'm a little bit frustrated. I'm also exhausted, which is strange because I usually have a lot of energy...

Whatever is going on needs to be nipped in the bud before it spirals out of control. I need a game plan... First, going to have to diligently write down what I'm eating and what time in my journal. Second, I think I'm going to need to put the cleanse on hold in favor of being back on my usual supplements until I get back into a routine. Also, I need to boost up the cardio. Wow, just making this plan is making me tired. Which reminds me... I also need to make sure that I'm getting enough sleep!

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent... Hopefully my next post can be more positive!

Happy Tuesday!
LP