Thursday, October 30, 2008

Time to be selfish...

The last 2 weeks have been overwhelmingly rough... Working 14 days straight is tiring at any time, but 14 days of staying really late and having to look over everyone's work because you can't trust that things are being done correctly is pure torture. Last night was the first night that I got more that 5 hours of sleep since I started this stretch (I almost always get at least 7 or 8). And yesterday, I lost it. I was at my wit's end and got pushed just a little too far. It got to be so bad that I couldn't even keep it together at work; I must have cried at least 3 times. Not cool -- not cool at all.

I'm doing the best I can and I hope people know that. But I feel like I'm being pulled in 500 directions and I can't take it anymore. Something has to change and NOW. It's time for me to take care of myself so that I can better take care of everybody else.

I have 3 more days to go before I get a couple of days off... I look forward to a little rest.

Take care,

Friday, October 24, 2008

Checking in...

Hey guys,

Thanks for the support (and tough love)... This has been a pretty stressful 2 weeks but I'm getting back into the swing of things. I'm cutting myself some slack (and remembering my own advice about celebrating imperfection). Things will get back to normal in no time.

So, unfortunately there is no rest for the weary this weekend. I'm in the middle of a stretch of working 14 days straight. Hopefully the second half of this block will go more smoothly.

Have a wonderful weekend... Have some fun for me!!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Another roadblock...

Let me preface this by noting that it seems like everytime I get super-excited on this journey I hit a wall and get super-frustrated...

For reasons unknown to me, I am in a slump. I am losing motivation and I'm losing it fast. Not sure if it is just a lull after going all-out last week or if it's the culmination of all of the stress I'm feeling. I dragged myself to the gym this morning and half-assed my workout -- I hate when I do that (not that it happens often...). My nutrition has not been up to par over the last couple of days and today I decided to nap over getting my extra cardio in. I'm afraid of failing and I feel like I'm teetering on a dangerous edge. Please don't read this as I am planning on quitting, because I know that is not an option. I'm just saying that I need to get my little slip-ups under control before they become big ones...

Hopefully, this too will pass... sooner rather than later would be preferable.


Thursday, October 16, 2008

Lofty goals...

Hi guys,

I have been thinking a lot about my progress so far... I have been blessed with a tremendous amount of success to date. My lifestyle is 100% different than it had been only nine months ago -- thankfully, everything has become a habit and there is no going back. I do want to add that I am proud of what I have accomplished so far (just so there is no confusion about this)...

...but I need a new goal -- something to keep me going forward. Since I started on Valentine's Day 2008, I thought that wouldn't it be fitting for my goal deadline to be another holiday (this could be a cute theme for the rest of my fitness goals, too). So, I have decided that I want to have lost a hundred pounds by Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is 6 weeks away. I haven't weighed myself yet this week, but I think I have anywhere from 10-15 lbs to lose to reach this goal. So it's an obtainable goal, but ambitious. I wanted to share it with you all so that it is more real... It sets up some accountability. My trainer supports this goal, but suggests that I boost up the cardio to help me attain it. To that end, I have been doing cardio twice a day. I know that I may not be able to keep that up during busy stretches at work, but I can always add walking the stairs to those days (elevators are kind of a guilty pleasure for me). I also plan on continuing the journaling and the good nutrition. I will also have to try to limit the number of cheat days I take.

So, I'm putting my goal out there. I figure if by some chance I don't make it, all of that hard work will at least put me close to it... so what do I have to lose???

Wish me luck!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Riding the roller coaster


Sorry that I haven't written in a while. I had a pretty dramatic last few days. I'm happy to report that things are much better now. My grandmother (same grandma I spoke of in my Sept 26th post) fell last Friday and hit her head. She was unconscious and on a ventilator. For a while there, I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I was a bit of a mess for a while. A lot of you know all or part of the story by now, but I'm happy to report that she is recovering nicely. She was taken off of the ventilator yesterday and is now getting close to back to her old self. They think she will be discharged from the hospital early next week. Thank you for all of your prayers and well-wishes...

So, it looks like this roller coaster is nearing its end and life will get back to normal very shortly. I personally am looking forward to a little more calm and normalcy...

Happy Wednesday!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Time for a breather...

Hey all,

So, I start a kind of long stretch of time "off" from work today. It wasn't asked for initially, but the schedule came out with 9 days in a row of no shifts for Dr. Paletta. I usually don't want to "waste" days off like that (when I have nothing planned) because it usually means working a harder stretch later, but I've got to tell you, this couldn't have come at a more perfect time...
Work has been a little stressful over the last few weeks (and yes, I know I had a vacation in there, too). Most of the time I love what I do, but there are those occasions (yesterday was one of them) that I just wish I was a carefree kid again with no job or responsibilities whatsoever. So this break from being at the hospital is just what I need.

Unfortunately, I'm a little bit of a procrastinator so there are things that I need to do to catch up -- both for work and at home -- but I'm sure there will be plenty of time for me to decompress and relax as well. And I'll have plenty of time for my new favorite stress reliever (which actually is doing cardio -- something I never ever thought I would say) and for spending time with friends and family. And the absolute treat at the end of this block of time off -- my cutie patootie niece Jasmine (pictured with me in my profile pic) turns 2 and I'm heading to Charlotte to spoil her as any good aunt and godmother should do...

I hope everyone has a restful and relaxing weekend.
Happy Friday!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Starting a cleanse (body, mind, and spirit)...

Now that I'm back on track, I'm starting an herbal cleanse. I know what you're thinking -- and it's not that bad (nothing at all like a colonoscopy prep so you can rest your mind). It's a 10 day regimen of super clean eating and increased fiber. To be honest, I was scared to do the first one... and even though the fiber drink can be hard to swallow, I really liked the way I felt with it. It made me feel much healthier. Advocare (and Sean) recommend a cleanse every 3 months, and so here I am.

So, I think it fitting while I am "cleansing" my body, that maybe I should work on "cleansing" my mind of the negativity. To that end, I am renewing my positive attitude. (Of course, if and when I slip up, I will just start over).

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Something to think about...

I totally stole this from a friend's favorite quotes on her Facebook page. I thought it was an great quote.

"Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. - John Maxwell

So basically, the pity party is over...

Happy Monday!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Checking in...

Hi all,

So, even though I know I shouldn't, I really am beating myself up about the blip in my progress... And the not weighing myself is killing me -- since I was on my way up, in my head I've gained 15# so far (even though that is probably not the reality). And as I mentally went over my routine, I couldn't figure out what I could do to step things up... It's a helpless feeling to think that you are doing all you can and your progress has stalled despite your efforts.

Which is why I love my journal... I decided to look over things and see what I could change. And I actually noticed some interesting stuff. Since August and my leg injury, my cardio has tapered off. Initially the "taking it easy" was justified and important but this far out probably isn't necessary. I was doing 45-50 minutes of cardio every "non-trainer" day (except Sundays) in July and going at least 5 miles on the elliptical. Lately, I've only done about 30-35 minutes and I haven't done any interval training. Aha!... something objective I can change. Suddenly, I've been given back some control. Time to kick it back into high gear!!!

So, take home message: journaling isn't just a chance to use pretty pens and cool office supplies or a place to write what you're doing as a meaningless exercise. It can provide some objective data and show you about what you can do to change things... And to Jason and the fam: thanks so much again for my new journal... I can't wait to start writing in it!!!

Happy Sunday! Have a happy and healthy week...

Friday, October 3, 2008

Water weight -- a dieter's best friend (and worst enemy)...

Hi guys,

Time to complain a little again (insert your sighs here)...

So, I think that I have mentioned (at least once or twice) how I back-slided a little with my recent vacation and gained some weight. Since my trip I have been weighing myself each day to get feedback and try to will the scale into saying something different. My trainer Sean HATES that I do this -- if he had his way, I would only weigh myself once every 6 weeks at my assessments (we compromised on once a week a long time ago). When I asked him why, he told me what I already knew -- that my weight is going to go up and down a million times a day and so it doesn't mean much of anything. I understand this, but I like to know anyway...

Which brings me to the topic of this post... ever notice how the beginning of any diet (or in this case "lifestyle change") is associated with huge numbers on the scale??? This loss is 95% water, but nevertheless is a huge ego boost... it often motivates us to keep going. Well, unfortunately the opposite happens when we cheat (by eating less healthy foods or drinking alcohol) we gain big numbers, which are at least in part water weight. (WARNING--- boys may want to just skip to the next paragraph... read at your own risk). And throw in the water weight that comes around that "wonderful" time of the month... it's enough to get even the most optimistic dieter discouraged!!! Aggh!

So, don't tell Sean, but maybe he is onto something -- I'm going to try and stay away from the scale... at least for the next week or so.

Thanks again for letting me vent.

Happy Friday!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Getting back on track...

Hello blog-fans,

So today was a little better... I did get a good night's sleep, which made for a better morning. And I got myself to the gym for some cardio this am, which is great, because it always makes for a good start of the day.

I did pretty well with my nutrition, too... I diligently journaled and stuck to my nutrition rules. I took my supplements this am and had a shake with a banana for breakfast. I remembered to have my morning snack (one of my faves -- almonds and craisins). We had lunch provided by a diabetes educator today at work so it was a good and healthy lunch. But one thing that I struggled with today was that I was just so hungry! I guess my body is just getting used to my old routine, but I was pretty much starving about an hour and a half after lunch!!! I waited it out, had a protein shake and apple slices for my afternoon snack (which helped a bunch) and then an on-point dinner (grilled chicken and broccoli).

I did have to whine (via text messaging) to Sean during the day but I guess the important thing is that I got through the day. I think tomorrow (and each day after) will be easier, or so I hope...

Have a happy Hump-Day!